MUSING #24 - Reinterpreting Jealousy

MUSE: The Artist Way - an exercise that uses jealousy to highlight one’s wants and brainstorms steps towards them. 

MUSING: I restarted the Artist Way a couple of months ago and am currently back in Week 7 (Recovering a Sense of Connection). This chapter discusses jealousy and how it can be used as a map rather than remain a creative block. When we feel jealous of someone, it’s usually around something they have or have accomplished. In honor of the vulnerability one must have while doing the exercise, I’ll list some of mine here: I’m jealous of Chloe Fineman being on SNL; I’m jealous Morgan Harper Nichols writing beautiful poetry that brings positive encouragement to thousands; I’m even jealous of my friend Katie having her pilot script selected for a competition. It has nothing to do with the people that cause the jealousy... especially since these three women worked hard and totally deserve those positive outcomes. My jealousy comes from the fact that I too want these things: to be on SNL, to create things that people connect with, and to have my scripts acknowledged by industry pros. 

In the Artist Way, Cameron has the reader list people they are jealous of and WHAT they are jealous of, then to write a step towards achieving that thing for ourselves. Because the truth of matter is, our jealously is highlighting what we want, and the jealousy may remain until we achieve it for ourselves. And that is only going to happen by making steps in that direction. For example, I wouldn’t need to be jealous of Katie if I also finished my script and submitted it to competitions. It may not be selected right away, but I can keep working on it and keep submitting it until it is. I’m sure some people will read that and think that isn’t a solution as it doesn’t guarantee I achieve the same outcome as the person I’m jealous of. But at least I’d be doing something. 

Julia Cameron makes the point that we are too often stuck in the thought process, blocked by the negative feelings rather than finding motivation to focus on the creative process. I can take the jealousy and be reminded ‘Oh yeah, that’s something I’d love to do!” And almost always it is possible to make those things happen, starting with one small step. Yes I can’t guarantee my script will be chosen... but I CAN write and get my projects out there with the intentions of those actions leadings to my goals. That is what I have the ability to do, and that is what I am choosing to do rather than sit in negative feelings of defeat. 

I also want to note that the jealous comes from admiration. I respect those women (and the others on my list) and I want to be their peers. I want to work as hard as they do and even work with them. But I have to do the work to. By taking the energy I put into jealous thoughts and putting it into my goals, I will be making my way towards camaraderie and collaboration with people doing the creative work that I dream of doing. Furthermore, by staying in the negative thought we risk deepening a win-loose perspective on the world. I truly believe, as does Cameron, that a Win-Win mindset can bring more joy and less stressful competition to everyone’s lives.