MUSING #23 - Committing to Self

MUSE: the New Year!! 

MUSING: There are many aspects of the New Year that are worth reflecting on. There are the communal practices of celebrating on NYE which looked very different for everyone this year as we remained in COVID isolation. I’ve personally reflected on the year that has passed, considering what’s happened and letting go of what I thought should or could have happened. But right now I want to reflect on the well known concept of New Year’s Resolutions. I have been a participant in the practice of making a resolution list in many past years, usually along the lines of working out, eating more healthily, going to bed early, and all the basic ones everyone considers at some point. 

The word resolution means to make a strong decision to do, or not do, something. But as many people experience, making that decision does not always lead to a fulfillment of the task. Plenty of people start the year saying they will be healthier in this way or that, and after a month they are right back in their old habits. I think this is mainly do to the fact they think making the decision, and declaring it at the start of a new year, is enough to motivate them. Clearly this is wrong. People don’t take the time to really reflect on 1) why they are making this decision and 2) the steps towards doing it successfully. If so-and-so says he wants to start going to the gym five times a week, clearly he thinks he is unhealthy or out of shape. Does he really evaluate what has gotten him to this state? Does he consider the deeper benefits of committing to an active life style behind ‘being healthy’ or looking ‘beach ready’? Can he visualize an actual goal, like running a half marathon or joining a weekly soccer team? I think if people investigated their goals more, and really highlight the intentions behind them, they’d be far more dedicated. Then, they need to make clear steps and give themselves the time to adjust to the new routine or habit. People literally expect that starting on the first day of January will give them the jump start they need. It’s surprising how many people don’t realize it takes weeks of committing to something new before it feels like a true routine. But usually by then people stop trying, labeling it a failed resolution. 

Lastly I think people have trouble sticking to their resolutions because they are the only ones holding them accountable. So much of our lives are intertwined with others, be it at work or our living situation. So much of what we do affects and is excepted by the people around us. Yet we are used to making resolutions that are purely for us. I think we, as a modern people, lack a deep trust in ourselves to commit to things that are purely for us. We’ve been told that makes us selfish, or egotistical. We are taught to put aside our needs when someone else’s is presented to us. That our integrity is determined through our actions towards others. But it’s also to ourselves! Our integrity, sticking to our promised and morals, is just as damaged if we do not follow through with promises to ourselves. And each time we do not, we then increase our distrust in ourselves - deepening the beliefs that we can’t count on ourselves or must follow through with a goal. I’ve been doing this to myself for years, and it’s lead to trust issues with myself. Just because I feel that way, however, doesn’t mean I can’t achieve any goal I set for myself. It means I’ve grown used to stopping before I really commit. But that can always change, whether at the start of a new year or any day I decided to commit to something just for myself. Just as I committed to writing these musings. Probably no one is reading them, but I said I wanted to write and post them every Monday. That was for me, and I’ll keep doing it for me.