MUSING #20 - Believe in Change

Muse: A three day virtual workshop with Momentum Education. 

Musing: 

There is so much to say and share about my experience with this workshop. It was led by a group of vulnerable and thoughtful couches that led a group of ~120 participants through conversations and exercises to empower ourselves in many areas of our lives. They helped us evaluate our beliefs, recognize our choices, transition ‘I have to...’ thoughts to ‘I get to...’ statements, admit what we want in life, and so much more! Many of the insights we covered I have considered before, but I never embodied them or allowed them to lead to actual change in my actions. But I feel by doing the workshop and starting to put the thoughts into action that I am actually experiencing a positive shift in my life. The start of a new season. 

I’d liked to reflect on at least one aspect now: BELIEFS. This section began with a conversation about facts vs. beliefs, highlighting that beliefs are learned, subjective, and can be changed. We then discussed the cycle that comes from our beliefs, whether consciously or subconsciously. 

BELEIF leads to ATTITUDE, which affects ACTION/BEHAVIOR, which cause a RESULT/OUTCOME, and that leads to a LEGACY (or the continuation of the belief). 

Not a crazy new idea, but a clear way to then take specific beliefs and consider how they literally affect our lives. As part of the exercise, we were asked to consider the beliefs that are not serving us (beliefs that are leading to negative outcomes). The workshop leader, Robinson, reminded us that it’s okay if the belief did serve us well at some point, but that doesn’t mean it still serves us now. A belief that I wrote down is: I have to stick to a specific timeline and path in life to succeed. And this timeline is based on the lives of my family members, all of whom were married and owned homes by my age. This belief has led me to an attitude of close-mindedness and fear of failure. That attitude has then led me doubt the decisions I’ve made, or say no to opportunities because they don’t seem to fit in the ‘path’. That in turn as led to an outcome of disappointment with where I currently am, feeling that I haven’t achieved what I should have by this age. And of course that has led to a continuation of close-mindedness, not being open to the amazing things I have experiences and the fact that I am able to create my own path. That is just one example of many cycles that I am continuing to work through. 

The next part of the exercise on beliefs was to pick beliefs that would serve me well at this time in my life. In a small break out group I shared that I want to believe that I can achieve whatever I put my energy and time towards. This belief will lead to an attitude of confidence, which will lead to a focused behavior that I’d use to do my script work. With a strong focus on my writing, I will reach the outcome of finishing the script! And by doing so, and submitting it to competitions and possible representation, I will reinforce the belief that I can achieve whatever task I put my energy into. Thus creating a positive cycle! 

Another belief that I have been holding onto is that I have to put other people’s needs first. This is related to a belief that I am selfish if I focus on my needs. But by believing this, I’ve developed an attitude of negativity towards myself... basically considering myself as unimportant. This attitude has led me to not commit to tasks and work that is important to my happiness. And by not committing, I don’t see any progress or improvement in my life. And this leads me to continue to focus on other people’s needs because my lack of progress makes me undeserving. But I want to change this. I want to belief that  by taking care of myself first, I will be more able to help others as well. Like they say before a flight “Put your own oxygen mask on before helping others!” By doing this I will adopt an attitude of feeling capable, and this will lead me to do tasks that I’ve said/thought I’ve needed to do for a while, and by handling those task I will be making process in my life, thus creating a legacy that I can help myself AND others.  

I definitely encourage everyone to take a moment and consider belief that are not serving them right now. Really look at the actions and outcomes that they lead to. Then consider beliefs you’d rather hold and the positive changes they can lead to. I believe that we are always changing and evolving, and we have the ability to direct that growth in the direction of our choosing. I choose to be happy and thrive in my life, and I believe that is possible.