Muse: Passing two ‘hitchhikers’ on a cold snowy road.
Musing:
I often wish we lived during a time and in a world in which we don’t have to weigh out possible dangers when considering doing something kind. But sadly that is not the world we live in. Instead we are consistently reminded of the possible dangers, so even when our gut says DO SOMETHING, our trained inner voice stops us and questions the risk. This happened to me as I was driving home. The two lane Vermont road twists and curves every hundred feet or so. It’s a beautiful drive, surrounded by evergreen and running along a river. But at night it can be scary, with no lights except that of your car, or the blinding lights of a car coming from the opposite direction. It’s especially intense at this time of year, with feet of snow pushed to the side of the road, and possible ice on any bit of asphalt. Usually when I drive this road, especially at dusk, I am aware anything could happen. I am even used to people being along the side of the road, either on bikes, or jogging. But I was surprised tonight when I rounded a curve and saw two men walking, hands out in the traditional hitchhiker position.
I only had a few moments to think, as they were just in front of me. I slowed and steered into the center of the road to move around them, partly to give myself more time to consider my decision. I looked at them. Both were young men, possibly early twenties, and both looked very cold. So of course my mind goes “Oh my god it’s freezing outside and these guys obviously need help.” Though why they need help wasn’t obvious. There was no sign of a car on the side of the road. They didn’t look injured. But the next thought that came to mind, was the fact that I could see their faces, pink from the cold. They weren’t wearing masks. And since my brain has been trained from the dangers of this year, my next thought was “I can’t pick these guys up, they could have COVID and I live with my parents who are both high risk.” I made eye contact with the guys as I passed. Unfortunately I think that gave them some hope that I would stop, but that COVID fear stuck with me, and I put my hand up in a “I’m sorry I can’t’ kind of manner. Plus there was a car behind me, that made me think two things at once: ‘I need to keep driving before this car hits me and we’re all in trouble’ AND ‘maybe the car behind me can stop?’ But as I drove on and looked in my rear view mirror I saw that it didn’t stop. And my heart sank.
Not far ahead was my family’s driveway up a hill to the property. I stopped at the base of the drive, still considering if I should go back and help. I could at least offer to call someone. But I checked my phone and it was still out of range of any single. I’d have to go up to the house to make any kind of call, and that’d really only work if they came up to the house as well. Again I thought of COVID. I hated that it was stopping me from helping someone. A more traditional danger came to mind as well, one taught to most women: don’t pick up random men! Yes I was all alone and they could be murderer. But they also could be young guys who need help. There’s no way of knowing. But the fear took hold of me, and I told myself some car, with a confident-less-Covid-wary driver (who ideally has phone service and a companion in the car) will stop for them. So I started the car again and drove up the drive.
As I got in, I told my mom what had happen and how I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should have stopped from them. She right away made the traditional argument of ‘You’re a young lady on your own, you should never stop for two men.” I added the point about COVID and not wanting to risk bringing it in to them. But the sun was fully down by then, meaning if they were still walking along the road it’d be even harder for cars to see them. And there aren’t many places for them to be walking to for assistance! There are some residence that sit along the road, that they could knock on if need be. Or if they walk further they’d reach the Plymouth Notch where the post office and Plymouth Cheese factory are. But they may be closed by the time they reach them.
As I write this my worry intensifies. I’m upset that humanity has evolved to such a place, and I with it, that can’t just help each other. But maybe that’s too negative of me. Perhaps, if I try to remember that there are good people out there, people who have less fear or obvious risks of helping in this particular situation. And that one of those people will pass the guys and see that they are in need of help, especially now that it’s dark out. So I will remain hopeful that this has happened, and remind myself that I will help when the time is right. There are a lot of people in the world, and we all can and need to do our part WHEN we can. I feel guilty that I chose not to help this time, but glad that I am keeping my parents safe. And myself, cause who knows, maybe they were murderers. Here’s hoping not.