MUSING #2 : Isolation and Mental Health

MUSE: 

Social media posts about people isolating themselves as COVID-19 spreads throughout the world. As Americans take the request for social distancing and self isolations more seriously, millions have turned to social media to stay connected and share their feelings as a few days of staying home became weeks. Most of the tweets and Instagram posts that pop into my feed hold a tone of boredom and frustration that they couldn’t go outside or hang out with their friends. Many of them also touch upon the rising anxiety of not being able to work, or even loosing jobs when the suggestion to social distance became more of a mandate from the government. Entering into the second and third week, however, there seems to be a positive shift as people post comedic videos, Coronavirus themed parody songs, dogs happy to have their humans home 24/7, and different ways to stay active and mentally well.

MUSING: 

The growing number of posts expressing frustration and even resilience during long-term isolation fascinates me, as it highlights how many people have never experienced it before. Personally, I have been in isolation for most of 2020 and have experienced isolation lasting 2+ weeks throughout the last decade. This is not because of a contagious disease or communal necessity, but because of Depression. And there are millions of people who have experienced intense isolation because of their mental health. Similar to those posting #isolationlife and #stayhome, individuals dealing with severe depression and debilitating anxiety feel they can’t leave their homes. But it is important to consider the difference between isolating oneself for the well-being of a community and the world, verses finding oneself in isolation because they are unable to get out of bed or ask for help from their loved ones. 

It’s worth mentioning that those dealing with depression-induced isolation don’t usually feel able to text a friend to let them know what’s happening, let alone post about it on social media. As there is still a lot of societal stigma around mental illness, social media doesn’t always feel like a safe space to share one’s experience, especially when currently in a depressive episode or state of high anxiety. I’ve found myself many times wanting to post something in hopes of letting friends and loved ones know what I’m going through, and to encourage others who feel alone to reach out for help. But it simply feels impossible. Plus I’ve felt frozen by the fear of putting myself out there just to have no one respond or show an interest in my well-being, which would send me into a deeper depression.

As people are getting more used to this time of #selfisolation, they are posting less about the frustration and more about the fun activities they are doing to stay busy and positive hopes for the future after this all has passed. But that kind of thinking is much less likely when someone is stuck in a mental isolation. If I could focus on the positives and joys that I know to exist, then I’d feel free to go out for a friend’s birthday, or try a new restaurant with my partner. And that is what I love to do... when I’m not currently in a depressive episode. My depression cuts me off from the world: all I can focus on is the doubt, pain, and darkness that floods my brain and weighs down my body. When I do notice more positive thoughts entering my consciousness, I know I’m starting to emerge from the episode, or HOLE as I often refer to it. It can often take weeks to get there. Some may think ‘Just come out and try to be happy’ but I’ve found that if I engage with the world before I am ready, that can make me feel even more depressed and broken. Similarly, if we end our isolation to soon during this pandemic, the sickness will take a stronger hold on our world. It takes time, and we need to support each other for however long it takes.

I think a major positive that can come from the World experiencing intense and long term isolation is a deeper understanding of mental illnesses. I urge everyone to reflect on the depressive thoughts and rising anxieties you have been feeling. You can’t ignore these feelings by going out to a bar or a party, but will instead find new depths to the darkness and hopefully new ways to find the light. You have a chance to use this experience to be more aware of your friends and family members’ battle with mental illness. Plus you have more time on your hands to read/research about mental health issues and mental wellness, so do it! As we continue to self isolate as a community, take the time each day to reach out to someone you know has been struggling. It’s easy to tell yourself that they will reach out if they need to talk, but please believe me when I say it isn’t easy. It’s even impossible at times. But seeing a message from a loved one and sincere interest in their wellbeing can make all the difference. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts, and I hope you feel inspired to reflect on this topic for yourself. My love and well wishes to everyone suffering from COVID-19.